So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wish I only lived at night.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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