Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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