hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize