Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
