Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
