i need an iv and a liver transplant
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
