My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
