my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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