I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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