Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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