So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
