you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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