I'm eating all of the evidence.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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