my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
