i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
True strength comes from lack of pants
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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