Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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