just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
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That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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