Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Oh god it's open bar.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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