i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
