I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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