I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
