I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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