is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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