Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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