I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just had sex on a roof
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
