it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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