I got chris browned last night
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
