i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
