just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
