Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
