It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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