so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
