I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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