no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
