Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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