"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
