Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
