just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
