Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
