arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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