I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
