We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
