why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize