summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
