He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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