Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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