We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
