This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There's always time for handjobs
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
