you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.