a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Who died my cat blue again?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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