Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride

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(502): View more from Kentucky

people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.

(203): View more from Connecticut

Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.

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(714): View more from California

Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon

(310): View more from California

Fuck you.

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(713): View more from Texas

Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.

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(868): View more from Trinidad and Tobago-Carib

Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...

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