I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
