Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she woke up with a sticky ear
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
