Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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