operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
