my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize