I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
