Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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