yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
