South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize