I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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