i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
