she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
