This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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