Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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