Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
