I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
