the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
