I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
