420 ftw
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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