I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
