thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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